It's October, the year is three-quarters over, and I'm finally willing to admit defeat in my New Year's Resolution. I failed.
Okay, my "resolution" was actually a chosen word of the year: ease. I wanted 2024 to be a year of working smarter and not harder, taking more time to relax and be with people I care about, and to refocus on the things that matter most to me. I haven't done that.
Don't get me wrong, I've had a lot of wins this year. I had my third solo show, found gallery representation, took part in more group shows, made my biggest profits yet, tracked my expenses really well, and made some good art. However, I don't feel at ease- in fact, my stress is currently higher than it's been for years.
The problem is burnout. I'm working full-time at my day job, making art in the evenings, and selling it on the weekends. I'm also on the board of directors for a local nonprofit and, amidst all of this, trying to keep together some semblance of a social life. For the past few months of the busy season, I've been getting a day off every couple of weeks at best. My body is tired. My soul is tired. My art is fed from my life and I haven't spent enough time living to stay inspired. Something has to change.
After some reflection on the parts of my days I look forward to and the parts that I don't, I've had to make some hard decisions about what to carry with me into 2025. These are still in the works, but here's what I've got so far:
Firstly, I gave notice that I will be allowing my term with the nonprofit to expire in January. That will free up a few hours every week, but it won't give me many (any?) more days off. This was a hard decision, because I value that work, but my time is so limited that I simply had to choose paid work over volunteering. The guilt of my perceived failing to keep up was adding to my stress and impacting other areas of my life.
I closed my commissions for the first time, too. I love helping people to achieve their visions, but found my limited time to be creative was being allocated to visions that aren't mine. My art is for myself before anyone else and I had to choose myself.
That left my two jobs: a full-time day job in a library (need- pays the bills) and the nights/weekends job of the art biz (need- it's my calling.) I found myself still looking forward to the next day off for weeks at a time and struggling to complete simple tasks due to low energy.
As I was driving home one night a couple weeks ago, my head was spinning, as it does frequently these days. I thought about my long-term goals for the art business and how I felt so stuck from achieving them the way things are going now. From the overwhelm came clarity, in the form of simple desires:
- I want to phase out my pop-up market side of the business once my finances make sense to do so.
- I want to grow the online side of my business that I can run from home on my own schedule.
- I want to increase my involvement with stores and galleries that can sell my work on my behalf.
- I want to spend more time making art.
And then I saw it: one of these lines had a limitation built right into it. The first one- that I want to phase away part of my business that isn't working for me- once the finances make sense. Seems like a good idea to wait for that point, right?
Except the finances aren't making sense enough to feel stuck with it, either.
I examined my income and expense spreadsheet for this year and found that the art income is making just a marginal difference in my life. Yes, it helped me make a bigger down payment on my new car this spring, and yes, I no longer spend my day job money on art supplies, but I still live at home and don't see that changing in the near future. The vast majority of art income comes from pop-up markets, but the vast majority of my business expenses come from those too. That leaves a small profit margin that totals low enough, I realized I'm actually willing to give some of it up and buy back my time.
Initially, I thought I might take the year off doing markets entirely, but a talk with my partner convinced me to keep a select few that are consistently more worth my time than others. The aim was for one or two markets a month. Some months have several markets I would have kept, so I had to analyze my costs and expenses to make decisions. My general enjoyment of the market's atmosphere and/or the ways different organizers conduct things were a factor, too.
While I still need to attend a few more to make late-in-the-year market decisions, I have a rough draft list of markets I'll pursue in 2025. All are within New Hampshire and closer to the Concord area than my previous "range". In case you're interested, here's my list:
January-March: NONE. First quarter markets never go well for me, so I'd rather stay home painting.
April:
- Luna Moth Zine Fest, if anything.
May:
- Possibly Henniker Handmade and Homegrown, a two-day fair within five minutes' walk of my day job. I'm undecided on this one.
June
- Concord Arts Market? Undecided, I enjoy this one but might have too much in June.
- Manchester Pride, always fun and profitable.
- Concord Market Days, a grueling three-day street fair in downtown Concord that typically makes me the most money of the year.
July
- Concord Arts Market.
August
- Concord Arts Market- again, not sure if three in a month is too many, but all of these are Saturdays, so I'll have a day off every week.
- Hot air balloon festival in Pittsfield- this is new to me but was highly recommended.
- Wildflower Festival in Milford- fun, profitable, and good energy.
September
- Concord Arts Market.
- Manchester Citywide Arts Festival.
October
- Dover Apple Harvest Day. I set a new sales record at my first-time attendance this year.
- Warner Fall Foliage Fest? This went very well my first year, but somewhat poorly last year.
- Sound and Color Festival will be new in 2024, so I'll have to see how it goes this year. It's on the street in downtown Concord so I have high hopes.
November: Nothing actually comes to mind.
December
- Midnight Merriment in Concord, possibly. It's typically very worthwhile, but late at night in an odd space. I'm taking this year off due to the burnout.
- The holiday fair run by my day job in Manchester. This went very well in 2023. I'm still waiting to hear if it'll happen this year.
This still looks like a pretty rigorous year, but in fact, it leaves me many more days off than I had in 2024. I've been turning this idea over in my mind for weeks now, and it feels so good to imagine my year looking this way.
I'm actually just a few weeks away from having weekends off again, and I've been daydreaming about how I'll spend my time. I'd like to go for a fall hike and I'd like to have a couch potato day. I have a few commissions still lined up to finish. My series of small coastal paintings, Little Coast, could use some attention. After those things and likely in the new year, I might like to do The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. It's a book that I own but have never read, and it provides a guided introspective program for artists that so many have called life-changing. I haven't peeked ahead into it very much because I don't want to spoil what comes from it by having time to dwell on the prompts. And, of course, I need to work on building the online side of my business so that I can make the way of life I want financially sustainable.
So this is my big art-life update and why my calendar looks so bare compared to most of the year. Hopefully some time to rest and have a personal life will reinvigorate my art and drive my career into a direction I love wholly.